How to Avoid Angry Words

One of my favorite verses is from James 1 verse 19. It speaks about the defensive side of men and women especially in times of conflicts and disagreements. It speaks about the reality of differences among people of various culture, background and beliefs. But ultimately, it teaches us about humility.

This entry has been inspired by James 1:19 and  the book ‘Overcoming Emotions that Destroy’ by Chip Ingram and Becca Johnson.

Be quick to listen

Do you remember a time when you did something good but you were accused of having wrong motives for it? How about a time when you went the extra mile for a friend only to find out he/she will betray you for his/her own gain? Deceived? Hurt? How about angry?

You could be feeling all of the above and with all due respect, I tell you that you have a right to feel this way. But don’t you stop there! The Bible tells us to be quick to listen. As mentioned in my previous article, when we get hurt, our emotions heighten. In this article, may I add the fact too that our memory seems to sharpen.

In my case of being a spewer (read my previous article for further details), there were times when I get upset and hurt with my mom and remember how she had done similar things in the past towards me; or know that she would’ve dealt with things differently with my other siblings. The tendency to recall records of hurts, disappointment, frustration and anger seem to play fast forward in my mind which then translates to feeling more pain, saying angry words and regretting bitter actions towards her.

Whether which type of angry person you are, being quick to listen allows us time to understand better how the other person feels. It buys us time to analyze why someone reacts the way they do. And in addition, lets us examine which type of response to give or to give any at all. For a stuffer or leaker, listening should not only include hearing the other person’s frustration over a matter but should also include acknowledging your personal feelings and hurts.

via h3sean.com

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